Summer is winding down. The kids go back to school next week. The lazy days and late morning wake ups are over. While I look forward to the impending peaceful mid-mornings, I dread these final few hectic days.

Now comes the imminent meltdowns in clothing outlets. The absolute need to have the most expensive pair of shoes that humans have ever produced. Now comes the arguments over whether a teenage boy really does need a pair of jeans three sizes too small… In purple. Or whether or not it’s acceptable to send a 10 year-old to school in that pink shirt he’s holding.

It’s last minute runs for pencils, pens, paper… And wouldn’t you know it; that new backpack we just bought is already broken, so add a trip to replace it while we’re at it.  All while making sure shot records are up to date, contact information is current and registration meetings are made on time, all in four days, because for some reason we weren’t ready.  For some reason we’re never ready.

I know what the reason is.  It’s my kids.  I can’t buy them shoes before the very last second or they will beg, plead, steal, extort or whatever else it takes to get those brand new shoes on. Then they destroy them.  New pants? Nope. Even if I hide them I have the paranoid fear that they will dig them out and put holes in them before the first day of school. They’re boys, that’s what they do.

So with school just a few days away my wife and I embark on what I have come to call the Bat-Shit Crazy last days of summer.  We’ll avoid the mall, certainly. there are thousands of other last-minute shoppers out there. The mall will be chaos. We’ll stick with a large chain store about 20 miles away, as it should be a lot less busy.

Of course we’ve got to add in a company picnic right in the middle of the whole damned show.

I can’t wait for Tuesday!

Peace. I’m out.

My kids are in terror.  They are two weeks from starting school.  They are living every moment they have left of summer to its fullest.  Staying up late, begging to go enjoy the last of the local summertime activities, dreading the school-time schedule that starts next Monday.

(What?  You mean we have to go to bed by 10!)

I, on the other hand, am ecstatic.  for me school spells a tiny portion of my day that is nothing but peace.  A time when the house is quiet, thoughts come easily and distractions are limited to the ones that I create for myself.

Lil’ B. is blissfully unaware that school is pending, but he, like I, will enjoy that he is going back.  He loves school.  He loves learning, and this year he’s going to a mainstream school, so he should have a much better time with the other kids in class.

For me this means that the chaos of summer will be replaced by some semblance of order.  That I will have time to decompress a little.  That work will not be constantly sidelined by someone else’s needs, no matter how pressing.

In short, it means I get to go back to being myself for a few hours a day.

Don’t get me wrong.  I love, adore and cherish my kids.  Unfortunately, since Mom is over 7,000 miles away, I have very little time to hide away and just be… Well…

Me.

I’m Dad.  I am the defender of puppies and slayer of bugs.  Cleaner of dishes, toilets, sinks and countertops. disciplinarian and buyer of new, cool stuff.  But I never just get to be jerry in the summertime.  I’m Dad.  Full time, 100% of the time.

Until school starts again.

And thank all that is good and pure in the world that the date is upon us very soon.  I need to find “me” again.

Peace.  I’m out.

The scene above has been common in the Russell house for the past several weeks.  first it was a nasty cold that wouldn’t let anyone go, then I managed to contract a rather serious infection that dropped me like a rock for a full week and a half.  As it stands now the entire house is in catch up mode, from laundry to dusting.  Nobody has had the energy to do it.

It hasn’t just been me who’s been under the weather.  All three boys have been sick at one time or another.  If not they were all sick at once, which makes for a really fun day when you’re a father who’s already feeling like he’s taken a bullet to the leg that’s gotten infected.

Through it all I’ve managed to keep the basics of the house running.  Kids have gone to school, done homework, eaten the best dinners I could give them even though I spent a week sleeping the better part of 18 hours per day.  In short, i soldiered on, but the bulk of the housework suffered.

In that time our lil’ guy has begun speaking more and more.  he’s forming sentences and opinions of his own and, like all three year olds, is pushing for a bit of independence.  It’s life as usual, except that the kid that never spoke is now just the kid that doesn’t speak very well.

As far as his school goes, he’s doing very well.  He’s begun to take an interest in potty training as well, which thrills both me and my wallet.

As for the oldest boy… well, I have my hands full there, but that’s the subject of another post entirely, because honestly I could use some parenting pointers on that one.

Back o the youngest and his school reports.  I’m woefully behind on those, and since his other very much looks forward to them, I’m going to run them down in order here just to get caught up.  he really has made some huge strides over the past few weeks!

2-11-10: Great Day.  got right back into the routine of things.  He told a staff he had to go potty (gave a toilet picture to her). She took him in the bathroom and he sat on the oilet a long time and tried to go.  hopefully toilet training will be soon.

note: he’s been trying on-and-off at home, too

2-12-10: Good day. we’re working hard on getting him to play with peers.

note: Strange that it’s difficult for them there.  He plays fine with all the neighborhood kids, especially the older ones.

2-16-10: great morning. He said “Happy, happy, happy”.  i said, “Are you happy?” He answered back, “happy, I’m happy.”

2-17-10: Head strong today.  Everything was “No.” After short time delays he would do what he needed to do.

2-18-10: Still a few “no’s” but better today.  He talks all the time and verbally communicates with us very well.

note: this is nice-teacher talk for “never shuts up”.  Not that we’re complaining!

2-19-10: Good morning.  Started with “no’s” this afternoon. He looked tired during music time.  He does all the hand motions to the songs.

note: he fell asleep shortly after getting home that day… Hence the photo above.

2-22-10: Great day.  he followed directions very well. he is starting to show more interest in his peers.

note: He was a complete pain in the ass when he got home that day…  Must have used up all his great day vibes at school…

2-23-10: Very much into art today.  He requested dot art, markers, coloring books, gluing. We need more diapers for him.

2-24-10: Great day. Talked all day nonstop.

And I’m surprised by this because…

2-25-10: Loves helping to set up the individual scheduled the students have. He is very visual and will follow the schedule indepenently.

Yep.  loves helping around the house, too.  Especially if it means he has the chance to mess with the trash!

1-26-10: Very good mood.  Still working hard to get him to interact with other students.

I hope they do better with him and his classmates, but he was in a great mood this afternoon, communicated well, then fell asleep at 4:30.  he’s currently sleeping peacefully and I have no intention of waking him.

He’s just too cute when he’s sleeping!

Peace. I’m out.

The past few weeks have been hectic and a little dizzying.  Lil’ B. has been picking up language skills at a staggering rate, which at times is a bit overwhelming.  I’m just not used to him walking into a room, looking straight at me and saying “want pop-tart!”  It’s a 12 on the amaze-o-meter, but disorienting because he asks for a lot of things.

School is going well too.  He’s very much enjoyed the fact that the sun has finally broken through the dismal shadow of the Frankenstorm that has been plaguing Northern California for the past two weeks.  I know that the sun is definitely making me feel better.

The morning greeted us with crisp clear skies and just a bit of frost.  A perfect day for a light sweatshirt rather than a heavy jacket.  Lil’ B. boarded the bus with his usual enthusiasm and the day was off.

The report from school ws encouraging as well:

He was happy we got to play outside.  We were working hard on him pedaling the tricycle.  He wanted to spend the whole time on the bike.

Next thing you know he’ll be wearing a biker jacket and belting out “Born to be wild”.

Wouldn’t that be something!

Peace. I’m out.

Unfortunately, my life never gets any less busy.  Being a work at home dad and a mild workaholic can lead to a pretty long workweek. (My last workweek lasted 19 days.) Of course on top of the work, there is being Dad, which takes up at least as much time as work does.  In the end there are the unavoidable moments when I have to choose between working yet another day or taking some time for myself before burnout sets in.

The last few days have been just that.  My R&R time.  I always feel regretful for lost time, but my mind was getting fuzzy and my creativity was waning.  A break was needed.  Many aliens were harmed repeatedly in the making of this break, though England was saved and the U.S. ended with a fighting chance.

Through my short hiatus, live for the kids still rolled on.  Lil’ B. had some very good days, which is school is happy to describe to us:

Good day. Quieter than he usually is. He verbalizes every request now instead of just pointing.

I’ve noticed the same thing.  His verbalization and retention skills are improving very rapidly.  If progress continues at this rate he might be off the spectrum well before I had ever dreamed he would be.

Today’s repor was equally as encouraging:

Great day.  Initiated playing ball and ring around the rosy with other students

Now there’s progress!  This is the kid who never interacted with anyone even close to his own age group.  Now he’s playing because he wants to!

I really do attribute many of these advances to the fact that his brothers (who I will introduce you to tomorrow) have come to stay with us full time.  Constant contact with them has made him want to be more like them and less turned in on himself.  to them go the credits though.  I’m still just slogging along.

For tonight I’m going to head back to my happy lazy place.  Tomorrow it’s back to it at 120% as usual.  Right this minute it’s time for No Reservations.

There have been troubles in school this week.  Lil’ B. has fallen, gotten scraped, been bitten and had a perpetual cough that he can’t shake.  There have been mornings when he didn’t want to go to school until he saw his bus.  There have been a few tantrums too, all part and parcel of a three year-old’s life.

Today was a very good day for him though:

Great day. Very engaged with staff and watched the other kids intently. A lot of imitating what others were doing. (Smiley Face)

A lot of this mirrors what I’ve already seen at home.  Lil’ B. has been doing a lot of imitating.  He has also begun to initiate interactions with his brothers, myself and the dog. (I was worried about the last part, he missed our last dog terribly and I was afraid he would not get close to the new one.)

He’s doing his best to ask for what he wants and pointing when the words fail him.  He’s been doing consistently better with these things and others.  He sings songs, sings TV intro tunes, knows the names of characters in his brothers’ favorite shows. In short, he’s slowly but steadily putting chips and cracks in the glass bubble that’s held him inside himself for his entire life.

I’m incredibly proud of the little guy.  His efforts inspire me to to more myself, to push harder when things get difficult and to strive to break out of the habits I’ve formed over a lifetime.  He inspires his brothers, his friends and everyone he meets.

I could go on of course, I’m his father after all.  But I’m sure that I’m not the only father that has ever stood where I stand now, nor will I be the last for at least a while.

I’d love to hear the stories those parents have as well, so if any of you are listening out there in the bit streams that form up the Internet, chime in.  My sons story is no more important than the stories that you have to share.

Peace. I’m out.

there are some things that just make me smile.  some are big things, others are small.  the news I got today is a bit of both.  it’s a little thing for most kids, a huge thing for Lil’ B, and a monumental thing for all of us.

From the school”

Great day. A lot more talking. He’s verbally making requests and says my name to get my attention. We are working on him using the names of other staff and students.

It’s a small note, but one that gave me an ear-to-ear smile.  he has been talking more, but rarely in larger social settings.  I’m glad he’s comfortable in his classroom and pray that the progress continues.

Today is a very good day.

Peace. I’m out.

Every child can have a bad day.  Every Autistic child is still just a child, so bad days happen.  In the case of a kid that can’t express themselves in other ways but screaming and throwing things a bad day can be worse than it would be with a non-spectrum child at the same age, but in the end a bad day is a bad day and as a parent you just have to accept it and deal with it appropriately.

but a bad day in a room full of children with various challenges is a different issue altogether.  In that situation just one child having a bad day can affect others in far more tangible ways than it would in a room full of otherwise “normal” (I hate that term, btw…  Normal is a perception, not a reality), kids.  today was one of those days.

Oh, it wasn’t Lil’B. that was having the bad day.  At least it wasn’t today, though I’m sure that will happen.  It was one of his classmates. The packet today contained the following note:

He got bit on the hand (Insert frown-face emoticon here) It was about sharing a toy. We re working hard on trying to get him to say “No” when a student gets in his space. He fell when he got off the bus and scraped up his forehead. (insert another frown-face emoticon here)

Some kids bite.  I get that.  I’m not angry about it.  Most of the kids in my son’s class are also very young.  All are challenged in some way. These things happen.

There aren’t any marks from the bite and only a tiny scrape on his head from his stumble. He’s fine.  In-fact, he’s currently laughing his head off on the living room floor while busily playing with the dog. No worries.

The issue as I see it is that my son is far too giving in some situations.  He doesn’t understand personal boundaries, even his own.  for hi they don’t exist.  If they did he might not have been bitten at all, because he would have understood that the other child was getting too close, or that there was a possibility of conflict.  Lil’ B. doesn’t understand any of these concepts yet, but he will some day.

For now I’m glad that he’s learning, and that most days are closer to perfect than not. As long as that trend continues, I’ll be content.

Peace. I’m out

It was a worry.  There is always a worry when kids, especially young kids go back to school after a long break.  worries that they will have forgotten how to behave.  Worries that they won’t want to go at all.  Worries of fits, tantrums or long, drawn-out fits.

News from the school today:

Great day. got right back into the routine without any problems. Followed directions very well.

I shouldn’t have worried.  Lil’ B., you’re doing just fine.  I’m proud of you.

Peace. I’m out.

It’s been a long while since I’ve updated this space, and that’s jut a bloody shame.  There have been a million things going on, some good, some bad, some horrendous but each a learning experience in its own right.  the lack of updates then, is not due to a lack of things worthy of comment, but rather a lack of time on my part to handle more than the necessities.

That changes today.

with a new year upon us and new goals and challenges facing us, I think that he least I can do is take just a few minutes per day to update the world on my son’s progress and the challenges that he is rapidly overcoming.

Speech is less of an issue than it used to be.  Lil’ B. now speaks nearly as well as most 18-20 month old children do. He can ask for a cup, an apple, a banana or chicken.  The words aren’t 100% clear, but they are understandable.  he can say Daddy and cup.  he no longer relies on a bottle.  He goes to school, where the teachers call him a ray of sunlight.

His laugh still makes everyone in its vicinity break out in a smile.

No, life isn’t perfect, but it is moving along.  For the most part it moves in a positive direction.  The school sends a daily status report home for us and at the very least, I’ll be sharing those notes five out of seven days a week.  When possible I’ll share more about Lil’ b, my thoughts on the news of the day or whatever else I can find to say on the subject.

In the end though, this is a “daddy blog”. Even if that daddy happens to be a professional blogger in other circles, this is, and always will be, about my family, my life and what affects them.