These words were spoken in class last week by my oldest son when asked to write a report on a disease such as cancer, Parkinson’s, or autism.  He stood and firmly informed his teacher that autism is a disorder not a disease, and that his little brother is not diseased, he’s just different.

Insert proud parent moment here.

As a result, his teacher told him that autism is, in fact a disease.  My son continued to argue the point and is now writing a paper, not on a disease, but a disorder.

Works for me.

Unfortunately I see a lot of people who refer to autism as a disease.  It is not. Autism can’t be transmitted.  It cannot be “caught”.  Autism is not contracted due to any known environmental or biological agent.  It is not a disease, it’s a disorder.

Autism is classified by the national Institute of Mental health as:

Autism Spectrum Disorders (ASD), also known as Pervasive Developmental Disorders (PDDs), cause severe and pervasive impairment in thinking, feeling, language, and the ability to relate to others. These disorders are usually first diagnosed in early childhood and range from a severe form, called autistic disorder, through pervasive development disorder not otherwise specified (PDD-NOS), to a much milder form, Asperger syndrome. They also include two rare disorders, Rett syndrome and childhood disintegrative disorder.

Notice that the word disease is not used. Problem solved, yes?

Unfortunately, no.  A lot of otherwise educated people want autism to be a disease.  a disease can be fought and cured.  A disorder has a much slower path, requiring therapies, sessions, and time.  Lots and lots of time.

But if you ask me, the kid below is worth all of that time.

His brother thinks so, too.  And that makes his Stepmother and I incredibly proud of him.  now if I can just get him to study harder…

Ah, well.  One battle at a time.

Peace, I’m out

This is Lil’ E.  To most people he’s an average 11 year old.  He plays video games, stays up too late and occasionally talks back.  He has an attitude problem as big as his personality and a smile that can almost make you forget about it.

More often than not he is self centered, more than a little into himself, somewhat greedy and a little image-challenged.  He is a walking contradiction, as are most pre-teens.  He is both an angel and a devil, sometimes within a five minute span.  He is moody, angry, challenged and challenging.

Despite all of these things, he is also the worlds best big brother for a certain three year old boy.  He is caring.  He is there to soothe owwies, to get his brother drinks, to give piggy-back rides, to patiently count the same four number cards for hours.

He is there to defend his little brother from any slight.  He tolerates no person treating his brother any differently from any other child.  He acts as interpreter when necessary.  He sneaks lollypops and chocolates for little hands that cannot reach them and shares sodas without being prompted.

He is hero, champion, knight and fool, all depending on what his brother needs him to be.  Lil’ E. didn’t have to be any of these things.  This is his half-brother we’re talking about.  He could have chosen to despise or distain.  Instead he nurtures and protects.

As an example.  For once this summer he woke up very early this morning.  Woke me a half-hour early, thinking we were running late.  He then woke his brother, gave him a bath and got him ready for school, then watched preschool T.V. with him until the bus arrived.

All without being asked.

To say he’s perfect would be a complete lie, both to myself and the world.  To say that he is the perfect big brother for one small child is nothing less than the absolute truth.  Lil’ B. idolizes his brother and I think he might just be lost without him.

I’m very proud of his shining moments, and there are many.  They make the difficulties of dealing with a spirited youth who just happens to be just as pig-headed and immoveable as his father far more bearable.

Now, if he’d just treat his other younger brother this well…

Well, I can dream, can’t I?

Until later.

Peace.  I’m out.

It might be the title of one of the world’s most notable post-apocalyptic stories, but in this case the reference has nothing to do with the short story by the great Harlan Ellison.  In this case it has everything to do with our son and our new dog, Henry (or hank, as my son’s grandfather calls him.  Not that Henry cares as long as an ear gets scratched somewhere in the process.)

They say pets can have an effect on those with ASD.  I think that there is no greater truth.  Lil’ B. lights up like a Christmas tree when he has these moments.

Pardon the sound quality, I was a bit far back and in a bit of a rush.

It’s not earth shattering.  It just makes me smile, and that’s enough for me.

Peace. I’m out.

Every parent is ecstatic when their child learns something new. The parent of a child in the Autistic spectrum takes a special joy in it, especially when it involves talking. I’m no different and neither is Lil’ B.’s mother. right now we’re both in seventh heaven.

Lil’ B. has been working hard on learning a few things over the past few weeks. this is not just due to his therapy or our efforts. A lot has to be said for the power of a certain explorer and her monkey friend, a set of backyard buddies and an animal rescuer, all of whom Lil’ B. watches in a never ending cycle throughout the day. Regardless of where his inspiration came from, I’m thankful, because now we have a few new things to go on with him, and these things are the beginnings of conversation.

I’d already mentioned that he’s finally learned “Yay” and “No”, but it recent days he’s also picked up “Nun-nun” (for food, “Yah”, (for yes) and the most impressive, his new favorite phrase, “Un-Un-Un!” (Or Run! Run! Run!), which he shouts with glee as we jog through a parking lot or as he runs to and fro in the hall. This is big stuff!

If all that wasn’t good enough, i’ve found him singing to himself in his room, though I can’t say I recognize the tune, and he’s been doing an incredible job of following direction from his therapists as well as mom and dad. to say that these have been a good few weeks would be an understatement.

And now it’s time to go work with his stacking cups and back to the duty of knight in not-so-shiny-armor. Our hero awaits!

Lil' B opens his first gift of the season. Read on for more!

I know I’ve been a bit lax in getting new posts up here, but I have some pretty good reasons for the lapse in information. It’s been a very busy couple of weeks in the Russell household, and not just with Lil’ B. and his progress (which has had me smiling a lot.)  There’s been a lot going on across the board.  Let’s recap a bit, shall we?

Firstly, about three days after my last update, my wife came home with news.  We have orders, we’re leaving Texas and Sheppard AFB.  The Plus side; my wife gets to go back to doing the work she loves.  The down side; she’ll be doing that work in Turkey and Lil’ B. and myself will be in California for the 15 months she’ll be gone.

For those who think this is an earth shattering issue in our relationship, it’s not. It’s just part of the life of a Military family.  I’ll be close to my sister,  step dad and my boys, so for me the time will fly by.  I also have some unfinished business to take care of in California and this is the perfect opportunity to get that taken care of.

As for my wife, she’ll get to enjoy some of the most wonderful food in the world and she tells me that there are a lot of things that we can get for nest to nothing, so her time will be filled with pursuits of furniture, Persian rugs and saffron, which we are told can be gotten very inexpensively there. (can you say eBay!?!)

On other fronts, lil’ B. has been progressing well in terms of keeping eye contact, which is a huge issue for him.  He’s made “yay” a permanent part of his vocabulary, and has begun asking for food by name, rather than just haling Dad to the fridge.  All of these things are wonderful and I cherish each moment, but there’s one thing he’s done over the past few weeks that shines far above all others:

He told his mother he loved her!

I was not fortunate enough to hear this, but I know it’s true.  The tears running down my wife’s face were more than proof enough.  Lil’ B. was apparently pleased enough with himself over the accomplishment that he simply walked to his room and went directly to sleep and has not seen the need to revisit the occasion, but we’re waiting.

As for the photo at the top of the post, we apparently missed a Christmas party held by the center that provides Lil’ B. with his therapy sessions, so Miss Sandra was kind enough to bring his gift by with her on their last appointment of the year.  It was actually a duplicate of a toy he already has, and as such will be returned to the BigScaryMegaMart where it was purchased for an exchange but we learned something from the experience:

Lil’ B. does not like to unwrap presents!

Let's open your present Lil' B.

This was confirmed right after the above photo was taken.  Miss Sandra pulled the first piece of wrapping paper loose and Lil’ B. Let out a very emphatic “No!” and walked away.

NO! Don't tear the paper!

While this bodes well for the gifts I’m about to place under the tree, it also means that wrapping his gifts may just be an exercise in futility.  We’re thinking gift bags may be the way to go if we would like to see him play with his new toys, rather than simply taking the packages into his room and staring at them.

In all other aspects, both good and bad, things seem to be falling into place. and Lil’ B. learns more with every visit.  We’re spending time mimicking their activities on the days they don’t come, but he seems to pay closer attention to his therapists than he does to his parents. (totally normal for a two year old, I know!)

That’s all I’ve got for the moment, and our little hero is awake, so I’m off to do that dad thing.

Peace, I’m out.

So far we’ve had the best day of the month today.  No fits, no tantrums, no raised voices.  Just a happily playing child and a long afternoon nap, in which yours truly finished out the necessary work of the day, so that even if distractions occur tonight, I’ll have no reason to rush to complete anything.  Truly unusual in a very nice way.

Of course this afternoon respite may very well come with a heavy price. long afternoon naps usually lead to a cranky child who is up very late into the night.  I should have woken him up after an hour or so, but honestly I just couldn’t bring myself to do it.  he rarely takes naps, so when he does I tend to let him.

Long naps also tend to signify the looming need for clothes in the next larger size, and of course a new pair of shoes.  Of course this is true with any child, but the long naps actually give us a heads up to save a dollar or two for that new wardrobe.  We get warning.  Nice, isn’t it?

For now i’m off to trade my narrator’s pen for my Donmestic God cape and apron combination.  I have laundry and dishes to do.

I hope all of your days went just as well as mine did.

My sister is famous for passing along inspirational emails.  Once in a great while, she sends something that is just too perfect not to share.  This is not only one of those messages, but it has a lot to do with the very next post I’ve been writing, so I thought I’d share it with you.

Hope you enjoy:

“Puppy Size”

This is one of the neatest stories you will ever hear. You will know
precisely what this little girl is talking about at the end

‘Danielle keeps repeating it over and over again. We’ve been back to
this animal shelter at least five times. It has been weeks now since
we started all of this,’ the mother told the volunteer.

‘What is it she keeps asking for?’ the volunteer asked.

‘Puppy size!’ replied the mother.

‘Well, we have plenty of puppies, if that’s what she’s looking for.’

‘I know…we have seen most of them,’ the mom said in frustration…

Just then Danielle came walking into the office

‘Well, did you find one?’ asked her mom. ‘No, not this time,’
Danielle said with sadness in her voice. ‘Can we come back on the
weekend?’

The two women looked at each other, shook their heads and laughed.

‘You never know when we will get more dogs. Unfortunately, there’s
always a supply,’ the volunteer said.

Danielle took her mother by the hand and headed to the door. ‘Don’t
worry, I’ll find one this weekend,’ she said.

Over the next few days both mom and dad had long conversations with her.

They both felt she was being too particular. ‘It’s this weekend or
we’re not looking anymore,’ Dad finally said in frustration.

‘We don’t want to hear anything more about puppy size either,’ Mom added.

Sure enough, they were the first ones in the shelter on Saturday
morning. By now Danielle knew her way around, so she ran right for the
section that housed the smaller dogs.

Tired of the routine, mom sat in the small waiting room at the end of
the first row of cages. There was an observation window so you could
see the animals during times when visitors weren’t permitted.

Danielle walked slowly from cage to cage, kneeling periodically to
take a closer look. One by one the dogs were brought out and she held
each one.

One by one she said, ‘Sorry, you’ re not the one.’

It was the last cage on this last day in search of the perfect pup.

The volunteer opened the cage door and Danielle fully picked up
the dog and held it closely. This time she took a little longer.

‘Mom, that’s it! I found the right puppy! He’s the one! I know it!’
She screamed with joy. ‘It’s the puppy size!’

‘But it’s the same size as all the other puppies you held over the
last few weeks,’ Mom said.

‘No not size… The sighs. When I held him in my arms, he sighed,’ she
said.

‘Don’t you remember? ?When I asked you one day what love is,
you told me love depends on the sighs of your heart? The more
you love, the bigger the sigh!’

The two women looked at each other for a moment. Mom didn’t know
whether to laugh or cry. As she stooped down to hug the child, she did
a little of both.

‘Mom, every time you hold me, I sigh. When you and Daddy come home
from work and hug each other, you both sigh. I knew I would find the
right puppy if it sighed when I held it in my arms,’ she said.

Then holding the puppy up close to her face she said, ‘Mom, he loves
me. I heard the sighs of his heart!’

Now if that’s not the sweetest thing you’ve ever heard, I really don’t know what is!

Thanks for sharing, Sis!